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| Penang, Malaysia |
I skip 2023 to take a deep breath and reflect how much impact it has on me before 2024 knock the door and got me gasping. I need to write at least one paragraph before this year ends, though I thought I will never come home. Such a waste of tea and tears, my older self should read this back and realise how quirky I am. It’s August, I am one year older and lost two kilograms of weight. Very impactful, isn’t?
I acknowledge my concern at my previous post (which is three years ago) whether I am able to graduate on time, or secure my first job. My younger self was so anxious that she can’t pass any interview because she was not that smart, but Thank God, she did. She did it even before graduated. Not the best among the best, but God do grant my wishes. A lot of things happened for the past couple of years. Too busy, hectic and exhausting that I can’t even sit down and rant about it just because taking photos are more easier and not demanding any explanation.
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| Petaling Jaya, Selangor |
September 2022.
After finishing my final exam, I’m securing a job as an assistant account executive, just few kilometer away from home, a public listed company, but choose to work at the audit firm instead, in Petaling Jaya. Resigned for the sake of my mental health and career growth, bet that was a great decision I ever made; not saying it was easy. It just… a right time at the wrong place I would say. I learnt a lot from this journey, with no regret at all. It just me that was not good enough to stay any longer. Tak ada rezeki, sebetulnya. At the same time, final semester result was out, I manage to secure Dean’s List Award for the last time, Alhamdulillah. My passion for audit and assurance are remain the same, and I want to give another shot, at another place. I told myself,
‘If I failed this time, probably auditing is not for me.’
All I need is one more chance.
So I apply for another job, short listed for an interview, and manage to get the same role at different state but the first person I see whenever I wake up is my mom, so here I am. Along the way, I graduated, finalised fifty audit reports for clients from various industries, secure my competent driving licence, bought my first car, wipe tears off whenever completing the working paper felt so overwhelming, considering to resign because it stress me out and even questioning my ability to be in this field. Do you believe if I said that I usually cried before entering the office to tackle that eight hours every single day with thoughts and prayers?
It was that hard.
But I’m also the same person that back to the office after the field audit ended just because that one particular business’s nature and transaction excites me. This is my passion to begin with. The only things that I’m able to do with my small hand.
A healthy environment, good team and great colleague, opportunity to grow, able to take a leave without feeling guilty… and as the list goes on, it doesn’t mean you won’t face any challenges at all. Because trials and hardships that sewn the bag to carry this responsibilities no matter how much it costs. I just want to be the girl that waking up and love everything that she does for the entire day.
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| Sekinchan, Kuala Selangor |
Being a working adult also teaches me that we can’t hold someone to stay by our side forever, even though we are the nicest person that we can be. We have to let them go as we want them to be at peace and ease, just as much as we love them. It’s hard to beg them to stay because we knew deep down their presence only to benefits us, in view of the fact that we indeed at the end of the day, will choose ourself over others. May this not be our last goodbye, but we will gather one fine day, happier.
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| Melaka, Malaysia |
My younger self would thank me for kept on trying and make it day by day, even though I doing it scared haha. At this point in my life, I just want to improve myself, not comparing myself with anyone, read more books, be grateful for good things… also the bad things & choose to be with someone who think that I’m enough.
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