Skip to main content

Mesin masa



Hari pertama sekolah, introduce myself in front of student around my aged which is about 7 years ago dengan loghat berbeza was so beautiful and memorable.

Penghujung Ogos 2008

"Ya. Kenalkan nama kamu. Dari mana. Sekolah mana. Silakan." 

Pandang cikgu berkemeja putih silih ganti dengan berbelas anak mata yang ingin tahu dalam kelas berdinding kayu bertiang batu. Aku tarik nafas dalam-dalam. Dah biasa kenalkan diri, I got this.

"Assalamualaikum. Name saye..."

"Nama saya." Cikgu betulkan. 

Aku pandang cikgu semula kerana sedikit terkejut sebelum pandang seisi kelas. "Name saye..."

"Nama saya." Dia betulkan lagi.

"Name saye..."

"Nama saya."

Aku dengan beg sebesar alam dan anak tudung ke depan terdiam, dan perlahan-lahan beradaptasi. Negeri ini bukan sahaja jauh untuk aku jejaki, tapi cukup berbeza. Asing, tapi selamat. 

Polosnya menjadi seorang kanak-kanak tanpa perlu terkesan dengan anasir luar. Aku rasa kalau aku yang tujuh tahun dulu tahu macamana huru haranya menjadi dewasa, she will think twice to grow up a lil bit faster. Dunia dewasa ini… bising. Mungkin akan tenang sedikit jika mereka belajar untuk keep their opinion to themselves. Tapi hidup selayaknya diteruskan, dan perbaiki apa yang salah. Human learn from mistakes, no? 

Mungkin sebab tu ada yang berpendapat untuk tidak mengubah masa lalu, dan berharap untuk berhenti membesar pada usia 23 tahun; tahun akhir sebelum menggenggam segulung ijazah. Sebab berada di persekitaran yang ikhlas dan bebas itu sememangnya dirindukan. 

SK Gum-Gum, Sandakan, Sabah. 2008-2011.

(I still remember the school’s anthem omg)

Popular posts from this blog

An ill-fitting dress to a stranger

“Have you ever attached in long term with someone that you no longer talk to?”  “I do. But  it started to become a burden on his shoulder when I put a glimpse of expectation that barely can be seen.” “What can be a burden when you are not even meeting each other?” “Hope.” “That’s what we called love, lady.” If I heard this word five years ago, I would sarcastically smile and disagree at all. But I realise that I am no longer a teenager and love is actually… existed. It just exist in numerous different ways. Last night, I received a call from a good friend of mine during matriculation year, G, that currently living somewhere in Spain. 10504km away from Malaysia, with 6 hours apart. She shows me a glance of her apartment surrounded with construction in the middle of the city that I’m not familiar with while eating prawn salad, casually pick up from where we left off 2 years ago. It’s mind blown on how fate take her to, far from her own plan and expectation. And of course, better...

Under the glazed umbrella

Penang, Malaysia I skip 2023 to take a deep breath and reflect how much impact it has on me before 2024 knock the door and got me gasping. I  need to write at least one paragraph before this year ends, though I thought I will never come home. Such a waste of tea and tears, my older self should read this back and realise how quirky I am. It’s August, I am one year older and lost two kilograms of weight. Very impactful, isn’t?  I acknowledge my concern at my previous post (which is three years ago) whether I am able to graduate on time, or secure my first job. My younger self was so anxious that she can’t pass any interview because she was not that smart, but Thank God, she did. She did it even before graduated. Not the best among the best, but God do grant my wishes. A lot of things happened for the past couple of years. Too busy, hectic and exhausting that I can’t even sit down and rant about it just because taking photos are more easier and not demanding any explanation. ...

Rigel (2022)

Didn't want a battle, Yet you declared war, Each knock you gave me made me stronger than before. I will not give up, I will not give in. You won't make me fall. I won't let you win. Life’s Own Battle oleh Emma Jackson 2022 Slot Teknik Solekan anjuran Kelab Dinamika “Sebelum letakkan base dan bedak asas, you all kena pakai eyeshadow dulu. Tahu tak kenapa?” Seorang gadis muda berkulit licin mengalahkan gelas yang memakai turban di kepala itu melontarkan soalan kepada pengunjung yang sudah siap sedia duduk di hadapan cermin masing-masing. Julia menebar pandangan ke seluruh pelusuk dewan melihat wajah-wajah polos yang kelihatan lost itu. “Sebab lebih mudah bersihkan kotoran bawah mata tanpa rosakkan foundation.” Dia hanya tersenyum melihat masing-masing mengangguk faham. “Okay, seterusnya. Ambil berus yang I pegang ni dan angkat tinggi-tinggi.” Seisi dewan kecil itu melakukan perkara sama. “Tahu tak berus yang I pegang ni berus apa?” “Err, berus blending untuk mata?” Sahut satu...