A heart-to-heart

Penang, Malaysia I skip 2023 to take a deep breath and reflect how much impact it has on me before 2024 knock the door and got me gasping. I  need to write at least one paragraph before this year ends, though I thought I will never come home. Such a waste of tea and tears, my older self should read this back and realise how quirky I am. It’s August, I am one year older and lost two kilograms of weight. Very impactful, isn’t?  I acknowledge my concern at my previous post (which is three years ago) whether I am able to graduate on time, or secure my first job. My younger self was so anxious that she can’t pass any interview because she was not that smart, but Thank God, she did. She did it even before graduated. Not the best among the best, but God do grant my wishes. A lot of things happened for the past couple of years. Too busy, hectic and exhausting that I can’t even sit down and rant about it just because taking photos are more easier and not demanding any explanation. ...

I might say that I am super proud of myself today.  I started my day with a thirty minute morning walk around my college! Discovering that UiTM Segamat also has a pineapple field, gymnasium and even sauna & spa at our college, makes my sharp jaws drop haha. Might try the treadmill one fine day. Let's see how that curiosity lasts. UiTM Segamat is way too charming to me. The tree, hill, old but unique building, bird chirping, fresh air, wild flowers… so refreshing! I am glad that I started my new life routine here. Looking at the old building but still amazed makes me realize that, it's not about the money, not about the fancy building, nor about the spacious car, but it's all about people and love. The road is too huge for me, and makes me feel that someone is welcoming me home. There are no photos taken. I just brought along my smart watch that I once regretted buying. Bought something fancy (because I’m not a sports person) and somehow knew its benefit you was such a r...

Melaka, Malaysia It’s raining heavily outside. Tacoma started to bloom.  Tomorrow is a brand new year. I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be a pretty rough go. If Allah wills, I will graduate on time. Not sure if I can graduate with a first class degree with honors or otherwise. It is what it is. I just want to be kind to myself. No self comparison, no harsh words, no downgrading, no hard feelings. Just a pat on the back & an opportunity to say that: it’s okay, you nailed it.  I need to secure my permanent job too. I think that I have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders, which I never thought would be such a burden to me. I need to pull myself together, go out of my comfort zone, and have faith in my own abilities to work in this industry. Thinking that you were not good enough was so exhausting and traumatizing. I don’t want to experience it anymore. For the relationships part (cough) I laugh out loud when I suddenly realize that I never got rejected, and never rejected peo...

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful EVEN NOT TODAY, IT’S TOMORROW “I hate hospital.” Aisha Huda mengeluh sendiri apabila di minta untuk membuat pemeriksaan kesihatan oleh syarikat tempat dia bekerja. “Kenapa? You selalu sakit ke?” Haidar yang duduk di hadapannya itu bertanya dalam kesejukan di sebuah cafe kecil tempat mereka berjumpa. Kafe berdinding kaca yang menyajikan masakan melayu itu sungguh mempesonakan pada waktu malam, lebih-lebih lagi diserikan dengan hiasan chandelier di atas kepala. “Dulu, masa kecil. Tapi walaupun sekarang I dah jarang sakit, pada I hospital tetap sinonim dengan lemah, derita, kesakitan. Ketakutan menanggung sakit yang tidak boleh disembuhkan oleh wang dan menunggu berita buruk tentang orang yang paling you sayang. I boleh collapse kalau demam pun. So I akan elakkan semampu boleh untuk masuk hospital.” Sebab tu dia tabik dengan doktor dan mereka-mereka yang bertanggungjawab menggerakkan institusi itu.  Berkerut habis wajahnya cub...

What if we just went broke, but have a dream? Does money determine our values? How much money do we need to earn respect from people? Don’t you think rational and valuable thought is important? One of the best memories that I had in my entire life was throughout my matriculation year. The most remarkable day was during the Young Entrepreneur Innovation Competition participated by science & accounting students. The highlight of the contest was innovating products based on their modules, and the topic for business scholars was anything related with ✨ Halal Food ✨. “What if we tried a dry seaweed shrimp roll?” Faa asked. “Is there any wet seaweed in the market?” I replied innocently. They were all giggling over milk shake before simply agreeing. Unfortunately, the idea was rejected by my lecturer. She said that the seaweed shrimp roll was not that competitive as compared to our classmate’s product. After a few days brainstorming, Yaya invent solution; “What if we make an app?” “... th...

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful E V E R Y D E L A Y T H E R E I S K I N D N E S S A short story for an amazing person. Kuyucak, tahun 1960. Pada zaman dahulu, tinggal seorang lelaki separuh abad bersama anak lelakinya dalam perkampungan kecil yang terletak di Isparta, Turki. Rumah kayu yang didiami keluarga kecil itu dikelilingi tanaman gandum bewarna keemasan. Kejiranan di kampung itu boleh dikira dengan jari namun mereka tetap bersatu hati bekerja di bawah terik mentari. Sekam yang diperoleh hasil daripada gandum itu dipisahkan, dihancurkan lalu dijadikan bran. Selain menghasilkan jerami, gandum ditanam untuk tanaman ragut bagi ternakan lembu dan itik yang diternak orang kampung. Bagi anak kecil itu, tiada apa yang lebih membahagiakan selain ayah yang penyayang, kehangatan matahari dan sekali lagi, air tangan ayahnya walaupun anak kecil itu tidak pernah meluahkan rasa kagumnya menikmati masakan pemilik sepasang mata Hazel yang sering kepenatan namun tida...