A heart-to-heart

“Have you ever attached in long term with someone that you no longer talk to?”  “I do. But  it started to become a burden on his shoulder when I put a glimpse of expectation that barely can be seen.” “What can be a burden when you are not even meeting each other?” “Hope.” “That’s what we called love, lady.” If I heard this word five years ago, I would sarcastically smile and disagree at all. But I realise that I am no longer a teenager and love is actually… existed. It just exist in numerous different ways. Last night, I received a call from a good friend of mine during matriculation year, G, that currently living somewhere in Spain. 10504km away from Malaysia, with 6 hours apart. She shows me a glance of her apartment surrounded with construction in the middle of the city that I’m not familiar with while eating prawn salad, casually pick up from where we left off 2 years ago. It’s mind blown on how fate take her to, far from her own plan and expectation. And of course, better...

Penang, Malaysia I skip 2023 to take a deep breath and reflect how much impact it has on me before 2024 knock the door and got me gasping. I  need to write at least one paragraph before this year ends, though I thought I will never come home. Such a waste of tea and tears, my older self should read this back and realise how quirky I am. It’s August, I am one year older and lost two kilograms of weight. Very impactful, isn’t?  I acknowledge my concern at my previous post (which is three years ago) whether I am able to graduate on time, or secure my first job. My younger self was so anxious that she can’t pass any interview because she was not that smart, but Thank God, she did. She did it even before graduated. Not the best among the best, but God do grant my wishes. A lot of things happened for the past couple of years. Too busy, hectic and exhausting that I can’t even sit down and rant about it just because taking photos are more easier and not demanding any explanation. ...

I might say that I am super proud of myself today.  I started my day with a thirty minute morning walk around my college! Discovering that UiTM Segamat also has a pineapple field, gymnasium and even sauna & spa at our college, makes my sharp jaws drop haha. Might try the treadmill one fine day. Let's see how that curiosity lasts. UiTM Segamat is way too charming to me. The tree, hill, old but unique building, bird chirping, fresh air, wild flowers… so refreshing! I am glad that I started my new life routine here. Looking at the old building but still amazed makes me realize that, it's not about the money, not about the fancy building, nor about the spacious car, but it's all about people and love. The road is too huge for me, and makes me feel that someone is welcoming me home. There are no photos taken. I just brought along my smart watch that I once regretted buying. Bought something fancy (because I’m not a sports person) and somehow knew its benefit you was such a r...

Melaka, Malaysia It’s raining heavily outside. Tacoma started to bloom.  Tomorrow is a brand new year. I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be a pretty rough go. If Allah wills, I will graduate on time. Not sure if I can graduate with a first class degree with honors or otherwise. It is what it is. I just want to be kind to myself. No self comparison, no harsh words, no downgrading, no hard feelings. Just a pat on the back & an opportunity to say that: it’s okay, you nailed it.  I need to secure my permanent job too. I think that I have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders, which I never thought would be such a burden to me. I need to pull myself together, go out of my comfort zone, and have faith in my own abilities to work in this industry. Thinking that you were not good enough was so exhausting and traumatizing. I don’t want to experience it anymore. For the relationships part (cough) I laugh out loud when I suddenly realize that I never got rejected, and never rejected peo...

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful EVEN NOT TODAY, IT’S TOMORROW “I hate hospital.” Aisha Huda mengeluh sendiri apabila di minta untuk membuat pemeriksaan kesihatan oleh syarikat tempat dia bekerja. “Kenapa? You selalu sakit ke?” Haidar yang duduk di hadapannya itu bertanya dalam kesejukan di sebuah cafe kecil tempat mereka berjumpa. Kafe berdinding kaca yang menyajikan masakan melayu itu sungguh mempesonakan pada waktu malam, lebih-lebih lagi diserikan dengan hiasan chandelier di atas kepala. “Dulu, masa kecil. Tapi walaupun sekarang I dah jarang sakit, pada I hospital tetap sinonim dengan lemah, derita, kesakitan. Ketakutan menanggung sakit yang tidak boleh disembuhkan oleh wang dan menunggu berita buruk tentang orang yang paling you sayang. I boleh collapse kalau demam pun. So I akan elakkan semampu boleh untuk masuk hospital.” Sebab tu dia tabik dengan doktor dan mereka-mereka yang bertanggungjawab menggerakkan institusi itu.  Berkerut habis wajahnya cub...

Didn't want a battle, Yet you declared war, Each knock you gave me made me stronger than before. I will not give up, I will not give in. You won't make me fall. I won't let you win. Life’s Own Battle oleh Emma Jackson 2022 Slot Teknik Solekan anjuran Kelab Dinamika “Sebelum letakkan base dan bedak asas, you all kena pakai eyeshadow dulu. Tahu tak kenapa?” Seorang gadis muda berkulit licin mengalahkan gelas yang memakai turban di kepala itu melontarkan soalan kepada pengunjung yang sudah siap sedia duduk di hadapan cermin masing-masing. Julia menebar pandangan ke seluruh pelusuk dewan melihat wajah-wajah polos yang kelihatan lost itu. “Sebab lebih mudah bersihkan kotoran bawah mata tanpa rosakkan foundation.” Dia hanya tersenyum melihat masing-masing mengangguk faham. “Okay, seterusnya. Ambil berus yang I pegang ni dan angkat tinggi-tinggi.” Seisi dewan kecil itu melakukan perkara sama. “Tahu tak berus yang I pegang ni berus apa?” “Err, berus blending untuk mata?” Sahut satu...